Divorce can completely disassemble all you’ve known and worked toward. It can put you in places you never wanted to visit and make you set up camp. It can create crazy from calm and havoc from order.
There will be not-so-good decisions, there will be judgment, and there will be bad days. But they will pass because we’re all human, and nobody is perfect. My hope is for your dignity.
Dignity and Grace: my new definition
When I first embraced the words “dignity” and “grace,” I promised I’d be Teflon – no one would see me cry or waiver. But I ended up learning that true dignity is about being unashamed of your actions and being true to yourself, even if that means being vulnerable and open about your emotions. And I learned that grace is about forgiving yourself when things don’t go as planned and recognizing that you are human and imperfect.
Figure out who you want to be
One of the most important things you can do during the divorce process is to figure out who you want to be when it’s all over. What kind of life do you want to lead, and how can you start living that life now? Stay aligned with your vision for the future, even if it means making difficult decisions and sacrifices in the short term. And if you lose sight of your vision, it’s never too late to recenter and forgive yourself for any missteps along the way – there’s the grace.
Balancing emotions and finances
Try not to panic; instead, plan. Divorce is a balancing act between emotions and finances. You’ll need to make fact-based decisions about money or property while also dealing with the grief and loss that comes with ending a marriage. It’s important to take care of yourself and be mindful of your own emotions and needs, even as you take care of others. This can be a difficult balancing act, but it’s essential for keeping your dignity (and dollars) as intact as possible.
Divorce can take what was a loving bond that is no longer and throw it into the legal system like a business contract to dissolve. If you’re married to someone who buys into the “knock down, drag out, winner takes all” version of divorce that our system promotes and glorifies, you can’t change that. But you can tend to your own self and your own actions. You can create the process you want on your side.
Dignity and grace. My mantra and true north.
I think dignity is only being around people I choose to be around. That’s not shameful. It’s simply admitting that I am not for everyone and that everyone is not for me.
Divorce is never easy, but by staying true to yourself, being mindful of your money, and staying in control of your actions, you can navigate divorce with grace and resilience. Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. There are resources available to help you every step of the way. And most importantly, be kind to yourself and know that you are capable of getting through this difficult time.
Do the work. Allow for vulnerability and your own humanity. Figure out what you want and adjust, one step at a time.
I hope reading this post helped. If you want our team’s support, click here to schedule a free discovery call. You’re not alone.