Why Informed Mediation™ Could Be the Path You Didn’t Know You Had 

Most people want to stay out of court when they divorce. They don’t want to spend months — or years — tied up in a system where attorneys negotiate and judges decide. They want to make their own choices. 

But here’s the problem: many people think hiring an attorney is the only way forward. 

The truth? You actually have four different ways to go about divorce. (Grab my Know Your Options brochure if you want a quick overview.) 

And here’s what almost no one realizes: you can stay out of court and still have good information to make smart, lasting decisions. You don’t have to pick between “winging it” and handing over your power. You can have both. 

That’s where Informed Mediation™ comes in. 

What Are My Divorce Options? 

When you’re facing divorce, you have four main paths to choose from. Each one works for certain people in certain situations. The problem is, most people don’t know these paths even exist — let alone what they look like in real life. 

Let’s break them down. 

DIY Divorce: Quick and Cheap, But Risky 

DIY divorce is fast and inexpensive. You download the forms, fill them out, and file. Done. 

Sounds great, right? But what if you don’t know what questions to ask? What if you own a home, share retirement accounts, or have kids? In many states, DIY isn’t even allowed if children or significant property are involved. 

And here’s the kicker: you don’t know what you don’t know. 

👉 Client story: A couple came to me after completing their DIY settlement. An attorney was already drafting the paperwork. No one had checked if what they agreed to was even possible. There was a $300,000 mistake tied to a pension. If it had been filed, they wouldn’t have discovered the problem until a decade later — and by then, it might have been too late to fix. Because we caught it early, we came up with a better solution before it hit the court. 

DIY can be tempting. But it’s like performing your own surgery after watching YouTube. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. 

Mediation with an Attorney (No Preparation): Out of Court, But Exhausting 

Mediation with an attorney sounds good on paper. It keeps you out of court and can help avoid full-blown litigation. But too often, it feels like a box to check before a case heads to trial. 

Here’s what it usually looks like: you sit in a conference room for hours, sometimes the whole day. You wait while attorneys shuttle back and forth. You get a counterproposal slid across the table, and you’re expected to make a decision while your brain is fried and your emotions are on edge. 

Be honest: who makes their best decisions after six hours in a stuffy room with stale coffee? 

👉 Client story: A woman came to me after her mediation. She had been offered $80,000 with no alimony. Her attorney wasn’t prepared and actually said, “At least you’ll get some money.” Here’s the problem: the marital estate was worth over one million dollars. Had she known her finances beforehand, she wouldn’t have been pressured into accepting crumbs. She would have walked in empowered, not threatened. 

The lack of context in this style of mediation is what makes it so dangerous. 

Litigation: Necessary Sometimes, But Costly and Draining 

Litigation is the classic path people imagine when they think “divorce.” Attorneys argue. Judges decide. The court sets the timeline. 

Sometimes litigation is necessary — in cases of abuse, fraud, or when one spouse refuses to participate. But for the majority of families? Litigation is a money pit and an emotional rollercoaster. 

When people hear what I do now, they often say, “I could have used you years ago when I went through divorce.” 

Why? Because they remember the wasted years. The tens of thousands of dollars. The not-very-values-based decisions left them technically divorced — but financially and emotionally drained. 

Yes, litigation can get you divorced. But it can also cost you years of your life and money you’d rather keep. 

Collaborative Divorce: Supportive, But Expensive 

Collaborative divorce is out of court, private, and structured. Each spouse has an attorney, and often other professionals (i.e., financial experts or coaches) are brought in. 

This path can be a great fit when situations are complicated or when there’s a power imbalance and one spouse needs an advocate. 

👉 Example: I’ve worked on Collaborative cases where infidelity was involved. Both spouses wanted privacy, but also wanted that fact acknowledged in the settlement. Collaborative gave them space to do that without dragging it all into court. 

The downside? Cost. Because multiple professionals are involved, Collaborative almost always runs more expensively than mediation. 

Why Informed Mediation™ Works 

After years of watching families navigate these paths, I asked: what if you could take the best parts of each process — and leave behind what doesn’t work? 

That’s how Informed Mediation™ was born. 

Here’s what it looks like: 

• Financial clarity from a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, not a lawyer guessing at numbers. 
• Preparation before mediation, so you don’t walk in blind. You already know what matters most to you. 
• Shorter sessions — two hours max — so you don’t make life-changing decisions while exhausted. 
• Attorney review and filing so everything is correct and court-approved. Attorneys do what they do best — legal documentation — while you handle the decisions. 
• Flat fee pricing — no surprise invoices every month. 
• Goal-based agreements that reflect your values and future vision, not just a “split down the middle.” 

And this is where the real magic happens. 

Because when you have good information and a structured process, the focus shifts. It’s no longer about “winning” or “beating” your spouse. It’s about moving forward. 

👉 Story: I’ve seen countless families use Informed Mediation™ to reach creative, values-based agreements. One couple agreed to a non-traditional spousal support arrangement that gave both stability while honoring their goals. Another divided assets over time in a way that better fits their family’s needs. These are solutions you don’t see in litigation, where the goal is simply to divide, not to build. 

Mediation vs. Litigation: How Does Informed Mediation™ Compare? 

• Litigation: Court-led, costly, long timelines, decisions out of your hands. 
• Collaborative: Out of court, private, supportive — but higher cost with multiple professionals. 
• Mediation with Attorney (no prep): Out of court, but often adversarial, rushed, and lacking context. 
• Informed Mediation™: Out of court, cost-effective, attorney-reviewed, structured, and keeps decisions in your hands. 

What to Expect with Informed Mediation™ 

If you’re wondering what it’s actually like, here’s a simple roadmap: 

1. Clarity Call – A quick conversation to see if this process is right for you. 
2. Individual Meetings – Space for each of you to talk about your goals and concerns privately. 
3. Preparation – Financial and parenting considerations are gathered before mediation begins. 
4. Mediation Sessions – Two-hour meetings designed for clear thinking, not pressure. 
5. Attorney Filing – An attorney ensures everything is legally correct and filed with the court. 
6. Post-Divorce Check-In – A financial transition review helps you settle into your next chapter. 

The Bottom Line: You Don’t Have to Choose Between Court and Chaos