The First 90 Days After Divorce: What to Take Care of Financially and Emotionally

You’ve signed the papers. The judge has stamped the decree. It’s official.

Now what?

The truth is, divorce isn’t over when it’s “over.” The first 90 days after your divorce are some of the most important — and most overwhelming. You’re adjusting to new routines, new responsibilities, and maybe even a new identity.

But here’s the good news: with the right steps, you can use this season to create stability and momentum for your next chapter.

 The Post-Divorce 90-Day Checklist

1. Update Your Finances

 

• • Bank accounts: Close or retitle joint accounts. Open new accounts in your name.

• • Credit cards: Remove your ex as an authorized user. Monitor your credit report for errors.

• • Retirement accounts: Roll over or divide per your settlement. Double-check QDROs (Qualified Domestic Relations Orders) are in place if required.

• • Insurance: Update health, auto, and homeowner’s policies. Adjust beneficiaries.

2. Reset Your Budget

 

• • Take a clear-eyed look at your income vs. expenses.

• • Identify areas to trim or renegotiate (subscriptions, services, extras).

• • Build in breathing room — unexpected costs will pop up.

 Tip: Think of your budget as a map, not a cage. It shows you where you’re headed and gives you choices.

3. Address Your Legal and Administrative To-Do’s

 

• • Change beneficiaries on life insurance, retirement accounts, and estate documents.

• • Update your will, power of attorney, and healthcare proxy.

• • Make sure your parenting plan is accessible and clear.

This isn’t glamorous work, but it’s the foundation for protecting yourself and your family.

4. Create New Routines for Kids (and Yourself)

 

• • Establish clear handoff times and places for parenting time.

• • Keep school, activities, and bedtime routines as consistent as possible.

• • Create a few new rituals — like pancake Saturday or family movie night — to anchor kids in stability.

• • For yourself? Build in time to rest, exercise, and reconnect with friends.

5. Give Yourself Emotional Space

 

• • Divorce is both an ending and a beginning. Allow yourself to grieve and to hope.

• • Journal, meditate, or work with a therapist or coach.

• • Watch out for numbing behaviors — overspending, overdrinking, overdoing. They feel like relief, but steal your recovery.

6. Plan for the Future

 

• • Schedule a financial planning meeting. Look at retirement, college savings, or big life goals.

• • Start small — even one step forward is progress.

• • Ask yourself: “What kind of life do I want to build now?”

Why the First 90 Days Matter

Think of these first 90 days as laying a foundation. If you rush or ignore these steps, cracks show up later — in your finances, your parenting, and your peace of mind. But if you take the time now, you create stability for the long run.

I’ve seen it with clients again and again: those who face the details early are the ones who move forward with less stress and more confidence.

Bottom Line

Divorce is not the end of your story. It’s the start of a new chapter. The choices you make in the first 90 days will shape how you move forward — financially, emotionally, and as a family.

You don’t have to do it alone.

 Schedule a post-divorce financial planning session to make sure you’re on track for your next chapter.