Making Room for What’s Real During the Holidays

Being Real in the Holiday Season

December has a way of stirring all the feelings—memories of what was, awareness of what’s different, and quiet glimpses of what might be possible next.

For many, this is a joyful season. And for others, it can feel overwhelming—not because anything is wrong, but because the expectations are loud. We’re supposed to be happy. In the spirit. Showing up as we always have—or at least as we’ve always presented.

So here’s the invitation I want to offer you this season:

What if you took the pressure off?

What if you allowed yourself to be human—exactly as you are right now?

Not forcing cheer. Not hiding sadness. Not explaining yourself.

Wherever you are in this season, it’s okay.
You’re allowed to feel joy and tenderness.
And you don’t have to be anything other than real.

Making Room for What’s Real

I read a post the other day from someone close to me—someone I love dearly—about how hard the holidays have always been for her.

She wrote about years of feeling alone and ashamed for not experiencing this season the way she was “supposed” to. Over time, she’s come to understand that early experiences and trauma around the holidays still shape how she feels now. And instead of fighting that—or pretending it isn’t true—she’s made peace with it.

What struck me most was this:
She doesn’t wallow in it. But she also doesn’t bury it ten feet deep and force herself to perform happiness for the sake of others.

She gives herself permission to feel what’s there. And she knows the people who love her will understand.

It was a vulnerable post. And it was beautiful—not because it was dramatic, but because it was honest. Anyone who read it could relate in some way—either through their own experience or through someone they love who carries a similar mix of emotions this time of year.

Major life shifts—divorce included—can bring up that same tension. The pressure to keep showing up the way you always have, even when something inside you has changed. This season, maybe the work isn’t fixing how you feel or pushing through it. Maybe it’s simply noticing it—and allowing it to exist without judgment.

Sometimes the most supportive thing you can do this season—and moving into the next year—is simple:

• Let go of what no longer serves you
• Make room for what you’ve been missing

Small choices count. Especially now.