Going through a divorce can be one of the most harrowing experiences in life. You may feel like everything is crashing down and will never recover. But it's important to remember that although divorce is painful, it can also be a time of growth and change. Let's explore some of the gifts of divorce and …
Going through a divorce can be one of the most harrowing experiences in life. You may feel like everything is crashing down and will never recover. But it’s important to remember that although divorce is painful, it can also be a time of growth and change. Let’s explore some of the gifts of divorce and discuss where you may unexpectedly find gratitude.
Finding gratitude in divorce may feel inconceivable to some; stick with me. If you are feeling lost and alone during this tricky time, please know that you are not alone – there is hope for healing ahead.
Here are four areas of reflection that may help you find a silver lining (or two) in your divorce:
- Divorce can be one of the most fear-inducing, stressful experiences a person goes through, but it’s also possible to find gratitude in the midst of it all.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff: During such a stressful time, it’s important not to sweat the small stuff. Let go of the things that you can’t control and focus on the things that you can.
- Be grateful for what you have: It’s easy to focus on what you’ve lost during a divorce, but try to take a step back and be thankful for what you still have. Whether it’s your friends, family, or your own personal strength, there are still many things to be appreciative of.
- Keep your sense of humor: A sense of humor can be essential during tough times like these. It can help you see the lighter side of things and keep your stress levels in check. So make sure to laugh when you can and surround yourself with people who make you smile.
Some people are grateful for divorce because it allows them to find themselves and discover their true passions.
It’s no secret that divorce can be thorny. A significant life change often comes with uncertainty, heartache, and stress. But for some people, divorce can also be a blessing in disguise. It can be an opportunity to find themselves and discover their true passions.
For many people, marriage is all about compromise. You have to learn to compromise on where you’re going to live, how you’re going to spend your weekends, and even what color scheme you will use for your living room. But when you get divorced, you suddenly have the freedom to do things your way. You can live where you want, spend your weekends how you please, and decorate your home however you see fit. This can be a significant relief for people feeling stifled in their marriage.
In addition, divorce can allow you to pursue your passion. If you’ve been unhappy in your marriage because you feel like you’re not doing what you’re meant to do with your life, getting divorced can be the push you need to finally go after your dreams. Once you’re free from some of the constraints of marriage, you can focus on building a career that fulfills you or chasing after that passion project you’ve always wanted to do. And who knows? Maybe pursuing your passion will lead you to find your true calling in life.
So yes, divorce is hard. But for some people, it’s also the best thing that’s ever happened to them. It’s an opportunity to start fresh and discover who they really are. And isn’t that worth celebrating?
Others are grateful for divorce because it led them to new and better relationships.
Divorce can be a tough pill to swallow. But for some people, it’s the best thing that ever happened to them. It might sound crazy.
We know relationships sometimes don’t work out – even when we want them to. And that’s OK. In fact, it can be good. Because divorce can lead us to relationships that are an even better fit for us. These relationships can be more fulfilling, more enriching, and more supportive. They can help us to grow and learn in ways we would never have thought possible. So if you’re going through a divorce, know there is value in every relationship. And know that you are not alone. Many people have been through divorce and come out the other side stronger and more resilient. So take heart, and keep moving forward. You will find your way back to relationships that genuinely care for and support you. Relationships that make you feel seen, heard, and valued. Relationships that make you feel like you belong. And those are the relationships worth fighting for.
Many people are grateful for the lessons they learn during their divorce.
Giving thanks for our lessons, even the hard ones, is a powerful way to cultivate a growth mindset and create opportunities for joy. In her book, Braving the Wilderness, Brené Brown talks about the importance of grateful living, saying, “When we lose our faith in ourselves, we lose our capacity for courageous living.” This is especially true when it comes to divorce. Experiencing the pain of a failed marriage can be incredibly difficult, but it can also be an opportunity for tremendous growth. As Glennon Doyle writes in her book Love Warrior, “What if we saw our lives not as a series of failures or random events but as one long, continuous journey toward wholeness?” From this perspective, every experience – good or bad – becomes an opportunity to learn and grow. When we are open to lessons, even during tough times like divorce, we can move closer to our personal version of wholeness. So let’s be grateful for the learning, big and small, divorce provides. They might be the key to a more joyful life.
Divorce is never easy, but by following these suggestions, you can make it through with your sanity intact…and maybe find a little bit of gratitude along the way.
- First, find one small thing you’re grateful for each day. It could be something as simple as the sun shining or your coffee tasting extra good that morning. When you start to look for things to be thankful for, you’ll be surprised at how many there are.
- Second, take some time to reflect on the positive aspects of your divorce. What lessons have you learned? What gifts has this experience given you? How have you grown as a result of your divorce?
- Finally, remember that hope is always possible. No matter how dark and difficult things may seem, there is always hope for a better tomorrow. When you hold onto hope, it will be easier to find gratitude in your heart.
My divorce led me to my purpose. Out of a miserable experience, I’m driven by the hope for a better tomorrow for everyone facing the unknowns that ending a marriage and reshaping a family brings.
I wish you the peace of discovery of things you’re thankful for as you move through the process or after your divorce.
Brenda Bridges
Mediator, MAT, RICP®, CDFA®, CDC®