Mother’s Day and Divorce: Finding Your Way Through

This Wasn’t the Plan—
But You’re Doing It Anyway

There’s something about the first Mother’s Day after divorce (or separation, or whatever big shift just happened in your family) that hits differently. Whether you’re parenting full-time, part-time, or from a distance—everything feels unfamiliar.

And here’s the truth no one talks about enough:

Even if you have a cooperative co-parent, it’s still different.

Even if your kids are doing okay. Even if you’re proud of how you’re handling it.

The mental and emotional load shifts—and suddenly you’re carrying things alone in a way you maybe never expected.

That moment it sinks in

I remember early on in my own divorce, I had a win at work. A big one. It was in a field I’d never worked in before—a career I’d started when my husband lost his job. I was challenged daily, stretched constantly. So when I got recognized for something, I was proud. Really proud.

And then came the gut punch:
I had no one to tell.

Or at least, not the person I would’ve told.
It was a moment of disorientation—realizing that the person who’d always been my default, my sounding board, my “guess what happened today” person… wasn’t in that role anymore. And maybe never would be again.

Then came the parenting gut check

Another day, a few weeks later, I came home furious. My not-quite-ex-husband had pulled a stunt right before a meeting with our attorneys, and I was hot. I walked in the door and vented out loud—said something ugly I didn’t mean. (Let’s just say it involved a fantasy of karma taking him out.)

And then I heard a shuffle.

My son was home. He’d heard every word.
He wasn’t supposed to be there. But he was.

That day changed me. Not because I was “bad” for feeling what I felt—but because I realized my kids didn’t sign up for this.
They didn’t need to carry my anger or fear.
They needed space to still be kids.
And I needed to lead with intention—even when I was unraveling.

The firsts are hard… and they’re also revealing

The first Mother’s Day you spend alone—without a card or a homemade breakfast or someone reminding your kids, “Hey, this day is for her”—can sting.

You might think:
This wasn’t the plan. This wasn’t supposed to be mine to carry alone.

And you’re right.

But these firsts, as awful as they may feel in the moment, are also deeply revealing.
They show you what you’re made of.
They give you a chance to rewrite what these milestones can mean going forward.
They teach you how to create meaning—on your own terms.

A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association found that most newly separated parents experience a spike in anxiety and emotional fatigue in the first 6–12 months—especially around holidays and family-centered events. You are not overreacting. You are human.

What this day could look like (even if no one else shows up)

This is a chance to honor yourself—because you’re still showing up. Still loving. Still trying.

That might look like:

Taking the kids on a new adventure—even if it’s just a hike and donuts.
Booking a massage and letting them hang with a friend or grandparent.
Ordering in, staying in pajamas, and refusing to do the dishes.

It doesn’t have to be performative. It just has to feel like yours.

A Mel Robbins-inspired reframe

Here’s something I’ve been reflecting on lately (thanks to a podcast episode that really stuck with me):

Think of something you have now that you once thought you’d never get.
A job. A home. A moment of peace. A new version of yourself.

Now pause and realize: You made that happen.

Maybe you earned it. Maybe you chose it. Maybe you grew into it through a whole lot of hard.

Either way—it’s yours.

And if that’s true… what else could be possible?

Even if today feels hard or heavy, your future isn’t fixed.
You can build it. Learn it. Choose it.
One hard day doesn’t define what’s ahead.

What You Can Do Right Now (Even If It’s Just One Thing)

If you’re not sure how to feel, what to do, or how to process what this day brings, here are three places you can start:

Name something you’ve handled this year that you never imagined you could.
Big or small—it counts.
Set one boundary this week that protects your energy.
That could mean saying no to something, or saying yes to something that feeds you.
Choose one way to honor yourself this Mother’s Day.
Even if no one else does. Even if it’s just taking 15 minutes alone with a cup of coffee and your own thoughts.

You’re not doing it perfectly. None of us are.
But you’re doing it. And that’s something to be proud of.

A new tool to support your path

This month, I’m proud to share that I’ve become certified in the BeH2O Co-Parenting Program, a powerful approach that helps parents navigate co-parenting dynamics with less conflict, clearer communication, and healthier boundaries.

Whether your relationship with your ex is high conflict or high functioning, this work can make a difference—for you, and for your kids.