Navigating divorce is never easy. It is a challenging time that brings about significant changes in many aspects of life, including financial decisions, emotional well-being, and lifestyle changes. When going through a divorce, it is crucial to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Unfortunately, most resources on divorce are focused on either financial or emotional guidance, not both.
Looking at all the financial decisions that need to be made and knowing that often they are colored by emotions and the baggage we carry after participating in a marriage for many years, I don’t think the financial decisions can be, nor should be, separated from emotions and mindset. I offer instead a toolbox that’s separated into three sections: well-being, tools for meetings, and thoughts for moving forward. Let’s break down some of the well-being tools available in that toolbox.
Taking care of yourself is essential when going through a divorce. Self-care is more than just getting a manicure or massage; it is about taking a deep look at what is in your best interests to live a complete, healthy, balanced life. Here are some (this is not my exhaustive list) self-care solutions that may resonate with you and help you make better decisions during this difficult time.
Therapy is an excellent way to seek help during a divorce, as it allows you to share your feelings and emotions with a professional who can help you work through them. However, it is essential to recognize that what you need might shift over time, and different types of therapy may be beneficial at different stages of the divorce process.
Money note: Check into your communities’ resources if your finances are tight. If you are looking at mental health support as an indulgence you can’t afford from a time or money perspective, there might be resources there that support you. I used Family Service Center in my area to get income-based sliding scale fees I could afford.
With the rise of social media, there has been a proliferation of online support groups aimed at providing support for people going through a divorce. It is crucial to be selective about the groups you join, as some may be negative or have ulterior motives. Look for groups that are focused on helping and supporting individuals going through a divorce.
Mindfulness is about being present and focusing on the moment rather than worrying about the future or dwelling on the past. Practicing mindfulness can help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, which are common during a divorce. There are many ways to practice mindfulness, such as meditation, deep breathing, and yoga.
Exercise has been proven to reduce stress and improve overall physical and mental well-being. Exercise can also help improve sleep, which can be challenging during a divorce. Find an exercise that you enjoy and make it a regular part of your routine.
Engaging in creative activities, such as painting, drawing, or writing, can help reduce stress and provide a healthy outlet for emotions. Being creative can also help you find new ways of expressing yourself and provide a sense of accomplishment and pride.
Assess Your Triggers and Come Up with A Game Plan
There are many things that are out of control in the divorce process, especially if you’re using litigation.
Recognizing things that may get in the way of the process that is in your control, and coming up with a game plan that puts you in a conscious decision-making mode instead of a reactionary place before that’s triggered will help. Taking care of yourself during this time is essential and can help you make better decisions and work through emotions more effectively.
Remember that self-care is an individual journey, and it is essential to find what works best for you. Keep seeking self-care solutions until you find things that do, and always prioritize your well-being.
Interested in a deeper dive? Order my whole book on Amazon (Oh $h*t! I’m getting divorced – The Guide to Keeping Your Dignity and Dollars).
Don’t have time to read a whole book? Book your free consult to talk about your divorce best options.